15 Ways to Build a Positive Parent-Teacher Relationship
Teachers are like having another parent in the family. Building a positive parent-teacher relationship is easy with these simple tips.
- Ways to Build a Positive Parent-Teacher Relationship
- Common Parent-Teacher Challenges
- What to Do If You’re Not Getting Along with Your Kid’s Teacher
- Books That Help Families Communicate
Teachers are like having another parent who watches your child for eight hours a day or more. They not only teach kids about English and math but they also teach kids important social and cognitive skills. This gives them the power to influence your child’s life for the better. And they could even become an unforgettable memory for your child—or you!
Just as you would talk to your partner about anything and everything for your kid, even through challenges and potential disagreements, your kid’s teacher needs a little communication to give your child the best supportive education. These tips will have you on your way to building a positive relationship with your kid’s teacher.
Ways to Build a Positive Parent-Teacher Relationship
Building a strong relationship with your child’s teacher isn’t just talking. It involves demonstrating your interest, support, and collaboration. Here are some specific things you can do to start your relationship on the right foot:
1. Introduce Yourself
At the beginning of the school year, send a friendly email or note introducing yourself to the teacher. Even better if you can find the time to meet face-to-face, like at an open house. Briefly share your child’s interests, strengths, and any important information that can help the teacher understand them better.
2. Attend Parent-Teacher Conferences
Participate in scheduled parent-teacher conferences. This is an opportunity to discuss your child’s progress, strengths, challenges, and goals. Come prepared with questions and be open to the teacher’s feedback.
3. Communicate Regularly
Maintain open lines of communication through emails, notes, or phone calls. Share updates about your child’s experiences, achievements, or any concerns you might have. But of course, be respectful of the teacher’s time and preferences for communication.
4. Volunteer in the Classroom
If you have time, offer to volunteer in the classroom or assist with school activities. This shows your willingness to support the teacher and engage with the educational environment.
5. Attend School Events
Attend school events such as open houses, parent workshops, and cultural celebrations whenever you can. These events provide opportunities to interact with the teacher in a more relaxed setting.
6. Show Your Appreciation
Express appreciation for the teacher’s dedication and hard work. A simple thank-you note or a word of gratitude can go a long way in building a positive relationship.
7. Share Insights
If you notice something about your child’s learning style, interests, or behavior at home, share this information with the teacher. It can help them tailor their approach to better support your child.
8. Collaborate on Challenges
If your child faces challenges at school, collaborate with the teacher to find solutions. But make sure to open these conversations with phrases like “Can we talk about . . .?” instead of directly criticizing or blaming the teacher. Work together to develop strategies that can address academic or behavioral concerns both at home and at school.
9. Participate in Homework
Engage with your child’s homework and assignments. If they encounter difficulties, reach out to the teacher for guidance.
10. Respect Boundaries
Understand that teachers have busy schedules—and at least 20 other kids! While it’s important to communicate, be mindful of the timing and frequency of your messages. Respect their time and commitments.
11. Share Positive Feedback
When your child has a positive experience or achieves a milestone, share this with the teacher. Positive feedback reinforces the teacher’s efforts and encourages a supportive atmosphere.
12. Attend Parent Workshops
Participate in workshops or seminars organized by the school. These sessions can provide valuable insights into teaching methods and strategies, enhancing your understanding of your child’s education.
13. Support Classroom Policies
Respect and support the teacher’s classroom policies and guidelines. Consistency between home and school helps create a stable and positive learning experience for your child.
14. Celebrate Achievements
Celebrate your child’s academic and personal achievements with the teacher. Whether you attend an awards ceremony, bring pizza to your kid’s class, or write a thank-you note, this shared enthusiasm can foster a sense of community and collaboration.
15. Show Empathy
Recognize that teachers have a demanding job. They don’t need someone giving them orders or being difficult—they don’t have the time. Show empathy by understanding the challenges they face and expressing your willingness to work together for the benefit of your child.
Common Parent-Teacher Challenges
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you have trouble getting along. If that’s the case, you might notice some of these signs in your parent-teacher relationship:
- lack of communication
- a negative tone
- avoidance
- misunderstandings
- unresolved issues
- unresponsiveness
- defensiveness
- over-involvement
- limited involvement
- frustration
- child’s behavior changes
- escalating conflicts
- an unsupportive atmosphere
- complaints
If you do notice these signs, it’s important to note that it may not be any one person’s fault. It could stem from a simple cause like the following:
Miscommunication
A lack of effective communication can lead to misunderstandings. Parents and teachers might interpret situations or messages differently, resulting in confusion and potential conflict.
Differing Expectations
Parents and teachers might have varying expectations regarding a child’s academic performance, behavior, or level of involvement. Misaligned expectations can lead to frustration and disappointment on both sides.
A Desire for More Involvement
Some parents may struggle to find the time to engage with their child’s education due to work commitments or other responsibilities. Teachers may wish for more parental involvement in school activities or at-home support for learning.
A Desire for Less Involvement
On the other hand, overly involved parents can inadvertently overwhelm teachers with frequent messages or requests, making it challenging for the teacher to manage their workload effectively.
Behavioral Concerns
Differences in disciplinary approaches or perceptions of a child’s behavior can lead to disagreements between parents and teachers. Parents might feel their child is being treated unfairly, while teachers may struggle with classroom management.
Academic Challenges
If a child is facing academic difficulties, parents and teachers might have different ideas about the causes and appropriate solutions. This can lead to tension and frustration when trying to address the issues.
Cultural and Language Differences
Cultural or language barriers can sometimes hinder effective communication between parents and teachers, making it harder to understand each other’s perspectives.
Assessments and Grading
Parents may not agree with the teacher’s assessment or grading methods. This can lead to disputes over a child’s performance and progress.
Homework
Disagreements can arise around the amount and nature of homework assigned. Parents might feel there is too much or too little, and teachers might struggle to strike the right balance.
Special Needs and Accommodations
If a child has special needs, parents and teachers might disagree on the best approaches for accommodating those needs within the classroom.
Testing and Standardized Assessments
Parents and teachers may have differing opinions on the value and impact of standardized testing, which can lead to debates about their role in education.
What to Do If You’re Not Getting Along with Your Kid’s Teacher
Before you decide to take a drastic measure like transferring your kid to another classroom or even school, there are some methods you can try first to salvage the relationship:
Stay Respectful
Maintain a respectful and professional tone during interactions. Avoid blaming or accusing, and instead focus on understanding and problem-solving.
Focus on the Child
Remember that the primary goal is the well-being and education of the child. Put the child’s needs first and approach the situation with the intention of finding solutions that benefit the child’s academic and personal growth.
Consider Both Perspectives
Both parties should take a step back and reflect on their perspectives and actions. Try to understand the root causes of the disagreements and any misunderstandings that might be contributing to the strained relationship.
Seek Mediation
If the situation is escalating and communication has become unproductive, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a school counselor or administrator, to mediate the discussions. Mediation can provide a safe space for open dialogue and finding common ground.
Clarify Expectations
Have a candid conversation to clarify expectations from both sides. Discuss what each party hopes to achieve and work towards finding common goals that align with the child’s best interests.
Revisit Communication Channels
If face-to-face communication is challenging, consider using written communication methods, such as emails or written notes, to ensure that important information is conveyed without the pressure of immediate responses.
Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries for communication and involvement. Determine appropriate times and methods for contacting each other to ensure that both parties feel respected and not overwhelmed.
Turn Disagreements into Collaborative Problem-Solving
Approach disagreements as opportunities for collaborative problem-solving. Brainstorm solutions together, focusing on what’s best for the child. Be open to compromise and flexible in finding common ground.
Involve School Leadership
If the situation doesn’t improve, reach out to school administrators or higher-ups for guidance. They might be able to provide additional insights and support in resolving the issue.
Model Positive Behavior
Parents and teachers serve as role models for children. Your kids will always remember how you decide to handle these conflicts. Demonstrating effective conflict resolution and communication skills can have a positive impact on the child’s own behavior and social skills.
Teachers are on this education journey with you and have your child’s best interests in mind. Whatever your parent-teacher relationship, you’ll get better results treating your kid’s teacher like a friend rather than an enemy. And if you end up at odds, just remember to ask yourself, How would I talk to my friend if we disagree? This kind of parent-teacher relationship will create an educational experience that will benefit your child throughout their life.
Books That Help Families Communicate
Shaelyn Topolovec earned a BA in editing and publishing from BYU, worked on several online publications, and joined the Familius family. Shae is currently an editor and copywriter who lives in California’s Central Valley.