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Really Live Your Imperfect, Messy, Beautiful Life

I signed up my girlfriend on one of those dating websites while she was in the hospital. It seems like an odd time to look for a date, but really, it was perfect. She’d been admitted for a week and because of underlying health issues, they weren’t sure what was causing her new problems. They’d do tests and then we’d wait. Groups of specialists consulted with other specialists and they’d prevaricate and postulate and then they’d try a treatment of something and we’d wait again. Think. Repeat.

Waiting is the worst part. But that’s what she’d been doing for years. My sweet girlfriend had been waiting to live her life. The drugs they’d given her for years to keep her healthy made her gain weight, and she kept waiting until she could lose enough weight to “look better” before she felt worthy to look for someone to love her. She even avoided being in family pictures.

But it has been enough years of waiting. She deserves to have someone bring her the joy and laughter she brings to her friends, someone as devoted to her as she is to her sons, someone to watch over her as she watches over the non-profit she leads, and help her as she helps the lives of so many others.

So late one night last week we filled in her profile and ogled the men available in her area and age range. It became a great distraction from the doctors and tests and the waiting.

After her bone marrow biopsy two days ago she said she was having one of those moments. That a-ha moment people have when things get serious with their health. “When I get out of here,” she said, “I’m not waiting anymore. I want to find someone.”

Yesterday she was diagnosed with leukemia.

The chemotherapy treatments will last four to six months. And after that, when we have gotten her through this, she will be out there on the dating market.

So watch for her: my strong, witty, giving, beautiful friend.

Because she isn’t waiting any more.

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