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Baking a marriage cake


Use all in equal portions, though sometimes more and sometimes less. When you bake by feel, you know what’s best.


Like flour in a cake, sex is the foundational component of marriage and research indicates that happy couples have it and have it often. Sociologist Dr. Denise A. Donnelly reports, “Although sexually inactive marriages are not uncommon, they are not happy, stable marriages in which the partners simply do not have sex. Lack of sexual activity may be a danger signal for many marriages.”


Baking soda or powder is used in cake recipes to make the cake rise. In the same way, courtesy shapes and adds texture to a marriage. What would happen if spouses treated each other with the same deference they showed each other when they were first dating? Being gentle, polite and thoughtful. This is a sure way to inspire love.


Without liquid in the batter, a cake would crumble to pieces. Without fidelity, a marriage crumbles. Marital sex is a sacred expression of love and commitment. Extramarital affairs degrade that expression and the commitment it represents.

Sometimes people justify extramarital affairs by claiming they are only a symptom of deeper problems. They are indeed a symptom but that doesn’t make them harmless. Without total commitment, a couple will not have the trust or motivation necessary to build and maintain their love. On the other hand, when a man and woman are absolutely committed, they can solve almost any problem. It’s possible for a marriage to survive infidelity, but it takes heroic forgiveness from the offended and valiant effort from the offender before trust can return and love can live again.


What would be the point of a cake if it wasn’t sweet? If your marriage leaves you wondering “What’s the point?” it’s a sign that you and your spouse could use a night out. Couples need recreation, spontaneity, smiles and laughter to make the hard times worthwhile. Let go of your excuses and make fun a priority. The cost of a babysitter or a weekend away is much less than a divorce—and a whole lot more enjoyable.


Eggs are necessary to ensure that a dessert comes out soft but solid. Similarly, forgiveness will keep the spring in your marriage. An old axiom advises, “Before marriage, eyes wide open. After marriage, eyes half shut.” Unfortunately, most people tend to do the opposite, looking at their fiancé through rose-colored glasses then pulling out the magnifying glass once they’ve made their vows. If you must use a magnifying glass, try pointing it at your spouse’s strengths. We all fall short of our best intentions, but when our loved ones forgive us, we feel encouraged to improve.

Perfecting your recipe
Ideally, maintaining a marriage should be enjoyable, but as with every lifelong endeavor, part of marriage is enduring through moments of boredom, frustration and sorrow. Some people wonder if marriage is worth the work. Research indicates that it is. Having a healthy marriage correlates with better finances, better health and more feelings of happiness. No marriage is perfect, but when a couple takes care to nurture their sex life, show courtesy, be loyal and forgiving, and make time for fun, well then, love will be a piece of cake.    

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